Marriage (and Other LGBT) Equality in New Mexico and Arizona

Posted on November 15, 2009 by Ruby and has 3 comments.

Sure, it’s cheesy, but I’ve been known to say that my soul lives in New Mexico. My marriage, on the other hand, does not.

Before I talk about these two states, however, I want to talk again about Border Patrol. As we made our way on I-10 and then I-8, we were driving alongside the border occasionally. You could see the fence that separated the United States from Mexico. A long, man-made blight on the otherwise beautiful desert. White SUVs with the green Border Patrol stripe passed us frequently, sometimes on dirt roads along the interstate. While these facts may be less than positive from our perspective, what was shocking and upsetting was the number of times that we had to go through Border Patrol checkpoints. Let me remind you: we did not go to Mexico. These were checkpoints set up along roads that only traveled through United States land–both I-10 and I-8 are east-west roads that do not enter Mexico at any point. But because of the proximity to the border, we were all suspect.

Likely some of us more than others. While one of the patrolmen did remind Ami that she was in California when she identified that as her destination, and a few of them gave us less-than-savory looks, we were not stopped for more than a minute at each point. We were not searched. We were not harrassed. What would have happened if we were not so fair-skinned? I will leave you to draw your own conclusion there, since I’m just speculating, but I know I have my theories.

And we can’t afford universal healthcare? Moving on…

Stump Henge, LoW-HI RV Park, Deming, NM

Stump Henge, LoW-HI RV Park, Deming, NM

In Deming, New Mexico, we went a little further off the freeway than we normally do in order to visit a certain RV park, the LoW-HI Ranch RV Park. As in Loners on Wheels Headquarters International. The tagline? “Serving single campers and travelers since 1969.” Now, despite the fact that New Mexico does not recognize our marriage, we are not by any means single. But the RV park welcomes others when it is not having a LoW-HI event, which it was not when we called to make a reservation. The reason for its existence? It seems that most RVers are couples or families, and when single folks pull in to an RV park, they are not welcomed over to some family’s fire to hang out for the night. Single RVers live a lonely life.

Not those at the LoW-HI, though. The place was pretty well packed, mostly with seniors, which is common throughout the sunny South. Many of them were either permanent residents or paid monthly for their winter accomodation. The desert gardens were gorgeous. There was a fenced dog run and a bunkhouse with free coffee in the mornings. And people were very friendly. While we were there we met Ellie, who was traveling from Redmond, WA. She said she’d made a point to get her ballot in the mail before she left our mutual home state so she could vote to approve Referendum 71. Yay, Ellie!

The next day in steaming hot Tucson, AZ, we stopped at Revolutionary Grounds, a cafe and book store on 5th Street. We wound up sitting next to one of the owners, Joy Soler, who sat and talked to us for awhile about the weather (hot), owning a cafe and book shop (great), and mostly about Frances (perfect). It was an excellent place to drink coffee and use the free WiFi, and were we Tucsonites, we’d be there all the time.

Afterwards, I insisted that we test the pizza at Brooklyn Pizza Company. Normally I’m an unapologetic pizza snob, and probably wouldn’t insist on any pizza not created in one of the five boroughs, no matter which borough the shop happened to be named after. But it smelled damnned good from outside, so we stopped for a slice. And it was good, surprisingly good. The crust was a tad salty, but other than that I have no complaints at all–and that’s saying something for Arizona. Plus, the pizza shop was entirely solar powered. That was something you didn’t get at Sal’s on Bainbridge Rd. in the Bronx, my childhood pizza joint.

But oh, yeah, we’re queer, and so are some other folks in Tucson and Deming. What’s it like to live with New Mexican and Arizona law as an LGBT person?

New Mexico

  •  In 2004, the Sandoval County Clerk issued 66 marriage licenses to same-sex couples. The state’s Attorney General declared the marriages that followed invalid. The Clerk brought a motion before the New Mexico Supreme Court to challenge the Attorney General and start issuing the licenses again. The motion was denied. There is no law prohibiting the recognition in New Mexico of same-sex marriages from other jurisdictions, but there has been no law to recognize them, either. There is no domestic partner or civil union law in New Mexico.
  • New Mexico allows same-sex partners to make medical decisions for an incapacitated partner as an ”individual in a long-term relationship of indefinite duration with the patient in which the individual has demonstrated an actual commitment to the patient similar to the commitment of a spouse and in which the individual and the patient consider themselves to be responsible for each other’s well-being.” Written advance directives may be issued in writing, signed by two individuals. They may also be given orally to a health care provider.
  • Any individual may adopt in New Mexico, including LGBT individuals. Based on the wording of the New Mexico Children, Youth and Families adoption application, which uses the term “partner,” it seems that same-sex couples may adopt jointly. There is no prohibition against same-sex partners adopting each other’s children.
  • With a medical affidavit and documentation of a name change, New Mexico will issue a new birth certificate with corrected sex information.
  • Both sexual orientation and gender identity are protected by New Mexico hate crimes laws.
  • New Mexican non-discrimination law states that you may not discriminate against people based on their sexual orientation or gender identity.
  • There are no safe schools laws in New Mexico. [via HRC unless otherwise specified]

Arizona

  • In 2008, voters in Arizona approved Proposition 102 by a margin of 56% to 44% [via Ballotopedia], adding an amendment barring same-sex marriage: “Only a union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in this state.” This was after voters rejected Proposition 107 in 2006 [via Ballotopedia], 52% – 48%, which would have amended the Constitiution to ban both civil unions and same-sex marriage. This was the first state-wide constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage/unions that ever failed at the polls in the United States. To date it is still the only one. Arizona law also bans recognition of marriages from other states. “Marriage between persons of the same sex is void and prohibited. … Marriage valid by laws of the place where contracted are valid in this state, except marriages that are void and prohibited by section 25-101. Marriages solemnized in another state or country by parties intending at the time to reside in this state shall have the same legal consequences and effect as if solemnized in this state, except marriages that are void and prohibited by section 25-101. Parties residing in this state may not evade the laws of this state relating to marriage by going to another state or country for solemnization of the marriage.” And despite the fact that the voters rejected an amendment barring civil unions or domestic partnership, no such relationship recognitions exist in Arizona.
  • Recognized as a “close friend,” same-sex partners in Arizona may make decisions for an incapacitated partner, but only if another immediate adult relative is unavailable. An advance directive may be created naming a partner as the health care proxy–the directive must be in writing, signed, and witnessed by one person or notarized.
  • Single adults, including LGBT people, may adopt in Arizona. There is no law prohibiting joint adoption by a same-sex couple or the adoption by one partner of the other’s kids, but no case has been heard to affirm this right.
  • After sex reassignment surgery, or with proof of a chromosomal count that establishes a difference in sex from that listed on a birth certificate, Arizona will issue a new birth certificate. To get the new certificate, an individual must write to request it and include a written statement by a physician documenting the surgery or the chromosomal count.
  • Sexual orientation is protected from hate crime in Arizona by law, but not gender identity. This is where the Feds must pick up the slack.
  • Neither sexual orientation nor gender identity is covered by Arizona non-discrimination law.
  • Safe schools laws in Arizona do not protect students on the basis of their sexual orientation or gender identity. [via HRC unless otherwise noted]

California – Where Our Legal Marriage Began

Posted on November 13, 2009 by Ruby and has no comments yet.
Welcome to California
Welcome to California

This wasn’t the easiest picture to get. Yesterday afternoon we drove into California and, not finding a welcome sign at which to document our entry, back to Yuma, Arizona.

“You’re in California. Nobody cares.” I said.

When we drove back across the one-lane bridge, there was no sign saying we were welcome in Arizona, either. We took a different road, and there was this sign. But no shoulder to pull off onto. So we turned around again and parked the entire rig right next to the I-10 on-ramp. We put on the hazards and made our way across the four-lane road to get to the sign.

This was the last time we’d be entering a state in which we were married–it was important.

We took several pictures, rejecting each one. My teeth looked too large. Frances wasn’t looking at the camera. Ami wasn’t smiling. Then the camera lens retracted and the display said, “Battery exhausted.” That was it. We had to go with what we had.

So here it is, folks, our final return to our legal marriage.

We became legally married when we entered Iowa from Minnesota. Then unmarried when we got to Illinois.

We remained unmarried until we made it to Washington, D.C. Entering Delaware, we left our marriage at the border. Picked it back up on the George Washington Bridge entering New York. We stayed married through Vermont and Massachusetts until we got to New Hampshire–in which state, had we taken this trip after January 1 2010, we would have remained married.

Back in Massachusetts we were again bride and bride, stayed that way through Connecticut and New York, and again lost our legal standing at the border to New Jersey. From Maryland to D.C. we became married again, and later that day, entering Virginia, we were again “roommates.”

Through eleven states we traveled. Girlfriends in North Carolina. Partners in Louisiana. Just friends in Arizona. And yesterday we returned to California for the first time since we left last August, legal, binding marriage certificate in hand.

Yesterday we found ourselves married again. Yesterday we got recognized. Yesterday we once again occupied the same physical location as our marriage.

We have been married all along.

Marriage (and Other LGBT) Rights in Mississippi, Louisiana, and Texas

Posted on November 11, 2009 by Ruby and has no comments yet.

I’m probably not telling you anything, but Texas is one big state. It took us three long days of driving to get through it.

We spent last night in Deming, New Mexico, after driving through El Paso alongside the blazing Mexican sunset. We passed through a Border Patrol checkpoint somewhere near Las Cruces, which was something of a shock. It stood, as imposing and impervious as the international border between Washington and Canada, but it was well into New Mexico–we never even entered Juarez. They waved us through, and we drove past their something-sniffing dogs. Were they hoping to catch people with those dogs, or what?

Catching up on some states we missed–there are a lot we didn’t document. Here are three.

Mississippi

  • There is no form of relationship recognition for same-sex couples in Mississippi. In 2004, the good people of Mississippi voted to approve Amendment 1, 86% to 14%, adding amendment to their constitution stating, “Marriage may take place and may be valid under the laws of this state only between a man and a woman. A marriage in another state or foreign jurisdiction between persons of the same gender, regardless of when the marriage took place, may not be recognized in this state and is void and unenforceable under the laws of this state.” [via Wikipedia]
  • If the spouse, adult children, and siblings of an individual cannot be contacted, “an adult who has exhibited special care and concern for the patient, who is familiar with the patient’s personal values, and who is reasonably available may act as surrogate” may make medical decisions on behalf of an incapacitated same-sex partner. An advance directive may also be written–it must be in writing and signed, contain the date, and be witnessed by two people or signed in the presence of a notary public.
  • Any unmarried person may adopt in Mississippi, including LGBT people. Same-sex couples may not jointly adopt, however, and the law that prevents them from jointly adopting likely also prevents adoption by one partner of the other’s child.
  • Mississippi law does allow amendments of birth certificates, generally, including changes of name and sex.
  • Hate crimes law in the state does not protect individuals on the basis of gender identity or sexual orientation–but now there are federal hate crimes laws in place to help bring hate crimes perpetrators to justice.
  • It is perfectly legal–or at least not prohibited–to discriminate on the basis of someone’s sexual orientation or gender identity in Mississippi.
  • Safe schools laws do not protect students on the basis of their sexual orientation or gender identity. [via HRC unless otherwise specified]

Louisiana

  • In the state where apparently not everyone got the memo about Loving v. Virginia, the 32-year-old Supreme Court verdict that allows interracial marriage in the U.S., constitutional amendment prohibits same-sex marriage. In 2004, by a 78% – 22% vote, this amendment was added to the Louisiana Constitution: “Marriage in the state of Louisiana shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman. No official or court of the state of Louisiana shall construe this constitution or any state law to require that marriage or the legal incidents thereof be conferred upon any member of a union other than the union of one man and one woman. A legal status identical or substantially similar to that of marriage for unmarried individuals shall not be valid or recognized.” [via Wikipedia] This appears to apply to marriages from other states, as well.
  • Only by advance directive may a same-sex partner make medical decisions on behalf of an incapacitated partner. This directive must be signed, and witnessed by two people. [via LSU's Law Center]
  • Any single person, including LGBT people, may adopt in Louisiana. There is no prohibition against joint adoption by same-sex partners, but this has not been tested in court. The same is true of the adoption by one partner of the other’s children.
  • After gender reassignment surgery, a new birth certificate may be issued in the state of Louisiana.
  • Louisiana hate crimes law protects people on the basis of their sexual orientation, but not gender identity.
  • There is no law in Louisiana prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity.
  • There are no safe schools laws in Louisiana to protect students on the basis of gender identity or sexual orientation. [via HRC unless otherwise specified]

Texas

  • The Texas State Constitution was amended in 2005 to prohibit same-sex marriage. By a vote of 76% – 24%, Proposition 2 was passed: “Marriage in this state shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman. This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage.” [via Wikipedia] As far as marriages from other jurisdictions are concerned, Texas law states: “In this section, ‘civil union’ means any relationship status other than marriage that is intended as an alternative to marriage or applies primarily to cohabitating persons; and grants to the parties of the relationship legal protections, benefits, or responsibilities granted to the spouses of a marriage. A marriage between persons of the same sex or a civil union is contrary to the public policy of this state and is void in this state. The state or an agency or political subdivision of the state may not give effect to a: public act, record, or judicial proceeding that creates, recognizes, or validates a marriage between persons of the same sex or a civil union in this state or in any other jurisdiction; or right or claim to any legal protection, benefit, or responsibility asserted as a result of a marriage between persons of the same sex or a civil union in this state or in any other jurisdiction.”
  • Only by advance directive may a same-sex partner make health care decisions on behalf of an incapacitated partner. This directive must be signed and witnessed by two people.
  • Single adults, including LGBT people, may adopt in Texas. There has been some case law granting joint adoptions by same-sex couples, but this is not explicitly allowed. There has also been at least one step-parent adoption by a same-sex partner.
  • Texas hate crimes law protects people on the basis of “sexual preference,” but not gender identity.
  • Neither sexual orientation or gender identity is a protected class in Texas non-discrimination law.
  • Texas does not have safe school laws that protect students on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity. [via HRC unless otherwise specified]

A Little Help from Our Friends

Posted on November 10, 2009 by Ruby and has 1 comment.

We may not have mentioned this, but we’ve been doing this trip on a shoestring. Not to abuse the metaphor, but if you were using this string of ours to tie your shoe, you’d definitely think to yourself at this point, “Wow, I really need new shoelaces.” </metaphor>

You may notice that we’ve put a donate button on the sidebar to your right. If you choose to donate, you’ll be taken to a secure PayPal site. We wish we didn’t have to ask, but here we are–in Texas, far far from home. It was supposed to all work out–if barely–but things happen, sometimes all at once.

Every bit helps. For example:

  • $50 will buy us a tank of gas.
  • $30 buys us a night at an RV park.
  • $20 buys us food for a day.

Or, to look at it another way, every dollar you donate will sponsor about 2 miles of travel. Every day we’ll post the names of the day’s sponsors. Sponsor us for five miles or a hundred–either way, we’re extremely grateful.

If our trip has given you hope, inspiration, or some other intangible benefit, and you want to donate, choose the gift or other amount you want to donate in the sidebar, click Donate, and you’ll be taken to the PayPal site.

If you are not able, or your donation dollars are spoken for, we still very much appreciate your participation in our journey, and hope that you will continue to join us.

Marriage (and Other LGBT) Equality in Vermont

Posted on November 10, 2009 by Ruby and has no comments yet.
Welcome to Vermont!

Welcome to Vermont!

I know it makes people in New England cringe, but there’s a dream popular among New Yorkers of moving to the country and buying a farm in Vermont. I think Vermont is chosen as a setting for that dream because it’s rural, beautiful, and the people have a reputation for being liberal. Even though I am from the Northeast originally, before this trip, Vermont was one of the six states I’d never been to. (I’m down to three: Wisconsin, Nebraska, and Alaska.)

I was sad the weather didn’t accommodate a longer visit to Vermont. I really wanted to get to Burlington. I just knew I’d love it. It wasn’t to be, however. As we mentioned in a previous post, the RV parks in northern Vermont had their water shut off during the time of our visit. It was also threatening to snow. So we headed south to Massachusetts–where it actually did snow.

But here’s what we missed as far as being queer in Vermont goes.

Vermont

  • Vermonters of all sexual orientations can marry as of September 1, 2009! The legislature passed the new law, and even overrode a veto by the governor. The state also recognize same-sex marriages from other states. Prior to September 1, Vermont had civil unions that held all the same rights and responsibilities as marriage in Vermont. These will continue to be recognized, but no civil unions will be performed as of Sept. 1.
  • Married gay and lesbian people in Vermont and those who have entered a civil union may make medical decisions for an incapacitated spouse or partner, and have visitation rights in the hospital. Those who have not married or civilly unioned (See how awkward that is?) may enact an advance directive authorizing a partner to make medical decisions. The advance directive must be dated and signed by the individual in the presence of two or more witnesses.
  • Any adult in Vermont may adopt, including single LGBT people. Those with a civil union or married same-sex partners may adopt jointly, and married and unified (Is that better?) couples may adopt each other’s children.
  • Vermont will issue a new birth certificate for transgender individuals with a decree of the probate court of the district where the individual was born. No idea how hard that is to get, or what warrants that decree.
  • Vermont hate crimes law covers both sexual orientation and gender identity.
  • Discrimination on the basis of both gender identity and sexual orientation are prohibited in Vermont.
  • Vermont’s anti-harassment education law protects students from bullying on the basis of their sexual orientation and gender identity. [via GLSEN, otherwise via HRC]

Vermont gets 100% on my (admittedly not comprehensive) LGBT law survey–gold star! Maybe I will buy that farm after all.