Sure, it’s cheesy, but I’ve been known to say that my soul lives in New Mexico. My marriage, on the other hand, does not.

Before I talk about these two states, however, I want to talk again about Border Patrol. As we made our way on I-10 and then I-8, we were driving alongside the border occasionally. You could see the fence that separated the United States from Mexico. A long, man-made blight on the otherwise beautiful desert. White SUVs with the green Border Patrol stripe passed us frequently, sometimes on dirt roads along the interstate. While these facts may be less than positive from our perspective, what was shocking and upsetting was the number of times that we had to go through Border Patrol checkpoints. Let me remind you: we did not go to Mexico. These were checkpoints set up along roads that only traveled through United States land–both I-10 and I-8 are east-west roads that do not enter Mexico at any point. But because of the proximity to the border, we were all suspect.

Likely some of us more than others. While one of the patrolmen did remind Ami that she was in California when she identified that as her destination, and a few of them gave us less-than-savory looks, we were not stopped for more than a minute at each point. We were not searched. We were not harrassed. What would have happened if we were not so fair-skinned? I will leave you to draw your own conclusion there, since I’m just speculating, but I know I have my theories.

And we can’t afford universal healthcare? Moving on…

Stump Henge, LoW-HI RV Park, Deming, NM

In Deming, New Mexico, we went a little further off the freeway than we normally do in order to visit a certain RV park, the LoW-HI Ranch RV Park. As in Loners on Wheels Headquarters International. The tagline? “Serving single campers and travelers since 1969.” Now, despite the fact that New Mexico does not recognize our marriage, we are not by any means single. But the RV park welcomes others when it is not having a LoW-HI event, which it was not when we called to make a reservation. The reason for its existence? It seems that most RVers are couples or families, and when single folks pull in to an RV park, they are not welcomed over to some family’s fire to hang out for the night. Single RVers live a lonely life.

Not those at the LoW-HI, though. The place was pretty well packed, mostly with seniors, which is common throughout the sunny South. Many of them were either permanent residents or paid monthly for their winter accomodation. The desert gardens were gorgeous. There was a fenced dog run and a bunkhouse with free coffee in the mornings. And people were very friendly. While we were there we met Ellie, who was traveling from Redmond, WA. She said she’d made a point to get her ballot in the mail before she left our mutual home state so she could vote to approve Referendum 71. Yay, Ellie!

The next day in steaming hot Tucson, AZ, we stopped at Revolutionary Grounds, a cafe and book store on 5th Street. We wound up sitting next to one of the owners, Joy Soler, who sat and talked to us for awhile about the weather (hot), owning a cafe and book shop (great), and mostly about Frances (perfect). It was an excellent place to drink coffee and use the free WiFi, and were we Tucsonites, we’d be there all the time.

Afterwards, I insisted that we test the pizza at Brooklyn Pizza Company. Normally I’m an unapologetic pizza snob, and probably wouldn’t insist on any pizza not created in one of the five boroughs, no matter which borough the shop happened to be named after. But it smelled damnned good from outside, so we stopped for a slice. And it was good, surprisingly good. The crust was a tad salty, but other than that I have no complaints at all–and that’s saying something for Arizona. Plus, the pizza shop was entirely solar powered. That was something you didn’t get at Sal’s on Bainbridge Rd. in the Bronx, my childhood pizza joint.

But oh, yeah, we’re queer, and so are some other folks in Tucson and Deming. What’s it like to live with New Mexican and Arizona law as an LGBT person?

New Mexico

•  In 2004, the Sandoval County Clerk issued 66 marriage licenses to same-sex couples. The state’s Attorney General declared the marriages that followed invalid. The Clerk brought a motion before the New Mexico Supreme Court to challenge the Attorney General and start issuing the licenses again. The motion was denied. There is no law prohibiting the recognition in New Mexico of same-sex marriages from other jurisdictions, but there has been no law to recognize them, either. There is no domestic partner or civil union law in New Mexico.
• New Mexico allows same-sex partners to make medical decisions for an incapacitated partner as an ”individual in a long-term relationship of indefinite duration with the patient in which the individual has demonstrated an actual commitment to the patient similar to the commitment of a spouse and in which the individual and the patient consider themselves to be responsible for each other’s well-being.” Written advance directives may be issued in writing, signed by two individuals. They may also be given orally to a health care provider.
• Any individual may adopt in New Mexico, including LGBT individuals. Based on the wording of the New Mexico Children, Youth and Families adoption application, which uses the term “partner,” it seems that same-sex couples may adopt jointly. There is no prohibition against same-sex partners adopting each other’s children.
• With a medical affidavit and documentation of a name change, New Mexico will issue a new birth certificate with corrected sex information.
• Both sexual orientation and gender identity are protected by New Mexico hate crimes laws.
• New Mexican non-discrimination law states that you may not discriminate against people based on their sexual orientation or gender identity.
• There are no safe schools laws in New Mexico. [via HRC unless otherwise specified]

Arizona

• In 2008, voters in Arizona approved Proposition 102 by a margin of 56% to 44% [via Ballotopedia], adding an amendment barring same-sex marriage: “Only a union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in this state.” This was after voters rejected Proposition 107 in 2006 [via Ballotopedia], 52% – 48%, which would have amended the Constitiution to ban both civil unions and same-sex marriage. This was the first state-wide constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage/unions that ever failed at the polls in the United States. To date it is still the only one. Arizona law also bans recognition of marriages from other states. “Marriage between persons of the same sex is void and prohibited. … Marriage valid by laws of the place where contracted are valid in this state, except marriages that are void and prohibited by section 25-101. Marriages solemnized in another state or country by parties intending at the time to reside in this state shall have the same legal consequences and effect as if solemnized in this state, except marriages that are void and prohibited by section 25-101. Parties residing in this state may not evade the laws of this state relating to marriage by going to another state or country for solemnization of the marriage.” And despite the fact that the voters rejected an amendment barring civil unions or domestic partnership, no such relationship recognitions exist in Arizona.
• Recognized as a “close friend,” same-sex partners in Arizona may make decisions for an incapacitated partner, but only if another immediate adult relative is unavailable. An advance directive may be created naming a partner as the health care proxy–the directive must be in writing, signed, and witnessed by one person or notarized.
• Single adults, including LGBT people, may adopt in Arizona. There is no law prohibiting joint adoption by a same-sex couple or the adoption by one partner of the other’s kids, but no case has been heard to affirm this right.
• After sex reassignment surgery, or with proof of a chromosomal count that establishes a difference in sex from that listed on a birth certificate, Arizona will issue a new birth certificate. To get the new certificate, an individual must write to request it and include a written statement by a physician documenting the surgery or the chromosomal count.
• Sexual orientation is protected from hate crime in Arizona by law, but not gender identity. This is where the Feds must pick up the slack.
• Neither sexual orientation nor gender identity is covered by Arizona non-discrimination law.
• Safe schools laws in Arizona do not protect students on the basis of their sexual orientation or gender identity. [via HRC unless otherwise noted]

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