RV Park Humor

So far we’ve only had pleasant encounters at RV parks. I’ll admit we were a bit worried when we started out–mainly because we tend to visit the gayer parts of the more liberal cities. Guys decked out in camo vests, Navy enthusiast hats, and ‘going into the marsh’ boots usually don’t hang out there.

But they do hang out in RV park offices, especially when it’s so freakin’ cold outside. So freakin’ cold that when we pulled in at 10 p.m. to a sign reading, “Hoses will be pulled and water shut off at 8 p.m.,” I screamed a little on the inside. You can’t shut off my water! People don’t live without water! Seriously.

The next morning I crunched across frozen grass into the office, and found myself smack in the middle of two camo clad guys. Honestly, I was glad when I wasn’t the only one willing to complain about the weather. But then:

Camo Guy 1: Sure is cold.
Camo Guy 2: Sure is.
Guy 1: This global warming <eye roll> sure has got me freezing my balls off.
Guy 2: Harharhar
Guy 1: Tell you what really needs to happen…
Guy 2: <waits for it>
Guy 1: I needs to shoot me some… <vigorous head bobbing> … ass. [read: dumb city-type liberal] That’d fix global warming right up.
Me: [Oh no, they shoot me out here. Oh no. Oh no!]
Guy 1: <exits, by the grace of god.>
Guy 2: That guy. One of those types that thinks he knows everything about everything, but don’t know nothin’ ’bout ‘nothin.
Me: [Whew. Close call.]
Guy 2: So is it just you out in spot 5? Or you and your husband?
Me: [Uh oh.] Well, actually, my wife.
Guy 2: <thinks for a minute> Well, OK then.

For all its camo and Navy hats, Wyoming got a whole lot safer in that one sentence.

Later, as we were pulling out, ten minutes after check-out, he stopped us. He came over with a handful of Milk Bones. “End of the season,” he said. “Don’t want these to go to waste.”

Thanks, Guy 2–humanity’s pretty good after all. And Wyoming ain’t too bad, neither.

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